Why this American moved to Bali: Remorse in the USA

Why this American moved to Bali: Remorse in the USA

71-year-old American Victoria Kjos rides her scooter along the busy, narrow streets of Bali. The sun is shining on her face and she has a clear goal in mind: the beach. Victoria, who moved to Indonesia in 2022, regularly spends time on Sanur Beach, which stretches along the southeast coast of this tropical island known as the “Island of the Gods.” When she's not enjoying the beautiful beaches, she can be found exploring attractions like Besakih, the temple complex known as the "Mother Temple of Bali" at the foot of Mount Agung, the island's highest volcano, or getting a massage at a local spa.

A new life in Bali

Her current life is very different from the one she led in the United States, where she had a long career in government and served as deputy state treasurer of North Dakota in 1979. Now happily settled in the Southeast Asian destination known for its rice fields, monkey-filled forests and ancient temples, Victoria doesn't see herself ever returning to a life in the US. “The best thing about Bali is probably the weather,” Victoria tells CNN Travel, describing the “magical place” she now calls home. "It's the same all year round. In the last three years I've never needed a long sweater or jacket."

A spiritual journey

But her motivation for moving to the island was more serious — a disappointment with life in the United States. “From the outside, I shouldn’t have any complaints,” she says. Victoria additionally worked in real estate, banking, and as a yoga instructor, and later in life established a relatively comfortable life in Phoenix, Arizona. "I had a nice house in a good neighborhood. Drove a convertible. Attended theaters, operas, openings regularly. Often shared meals with dear friends and families," she remembers.

Still, Victoria recognized that she was continually experiencing trends that were inconsistent with her beliefs and that she needed a more “meaningful existence.” “I wanted more than my middle-class American life offered me.” She noted, “Our culture had become so self-absorbed, so self-centered, and so money-focused that I began to question whether I wanted to spend the rest of my life there.”

The decision for Bali

These thoughts and the feeling of growing dissatisfaction eventually led her to Bali. However, her path there was anything but easy. In fact, Bali wasn't even one of their first choices initially. In 2012, Victoria sold her Arizona home, gave up her car and cleared out most of her personal possessions before embarking on a "spiritual journey" to India with only a few guidebooks. “I didn’t know how long I would stay or what the trip would entail.”

She spent about six months on a “life-changing and incredibly transformative” trip through India. She traveled to 13 states, visiting temples, meditation caves and gardens, and practicing chanting, yoga and meditation. “I have become a different person thanks to India,” says Victoria. “I hope I have become kinder, less judgmental, more patient and more thoughtful.”

The final move

In the years that followed, she spent more and more time in Asia, including an 18-month stay in India in 2017 and four months in Thailand, in the coastal city of Hua Hin, near Bangkok. There she kept hearing from other travelers: "Oh, you have to go to Bali. It's wonderful." And she thought, “Why not?”

In 2019, Victoria finally traveled to Bali and immediately fell in love with the destination. “There are people who believe that different energy vortexes come together in Bali, which gives this island its magical quality,” she explains. “There is something very special here, I felt it immediately.” When she returned to the United States, she felt it was finally time to put down roots somewhere new. Although she was thrilled by the “magic” of Bali, she initially chose a “close and convenient” Mexico and moved to the Pacific resort town of Mazatlán in 2020, where she expected to spend the rest of her life. But just over two years later, she reconsidered her decision. “I decided that Mexico really wasn’t the place for me,” she says, explaining that she was unhappy with her chosen destination’s reputation as a “party place.”

The new beginning in paradise

In May 2022, Victoria arrived in Bali to start her new life and says she “immediately felt very comfortable”. “There was never a doubt that I would stay,” she adds, describing how she quickly became enamored with the Balinese culture, rooted in traditions and spirituality, and loved its “calm energy.” Victoria found the locals very welcoming and had little difficulty making new friends despite not speaking Balinese or Indonesian. “I made a lot of ‘mistakes’ in the first few months in Bali, especially when looking for an apartment,” she says. "Everyone is a real estate agent, but they really aren't. It's more like, 'Everyone has a friend who has a friend who has a friend'."

A new home in Sanur

After several moves, Victoria finally found her home in Sanur, a quiet coastal town with a strong Balinese community known for its beautiful beaches. Victoria jokingly describes Sanur as a “snore” because of its relaxed atmosphere and popularity among retirees and families. She lives in a small, modern, sheltered house that features traditional Balinese sliding doors and high ceilings, with a bedroom, living room, kitchen and bathroom. “The only sound I ever hear here is my neighbor’s dog barking,” she says. “It’s almost like my wake-up call or a reminder of the outside world.”

A fulfilling life in Bali

Although as a “self-confessed introvert” she has hardly any more social contacts than in the USA, she is completely satisfied with this way of life. “I was one of those people who loved Covid,” she recalls of the lockdowns during the pandemic. “I was in heaven because I kind of live like a hermit.” While she tries to learn Balinese, she says most of her friends in the country speak English and often prefer to speak their native language with her, even if she wants to practice. “I think it's really important to learn the language in any foreign country, not only for your own benefit but also out of respect,” she says. “I'm actually more interested in learning the language to read the signs on the street than to speak it.”

Pros and cons of living in Bali

Although she has met many other foreigners who have moved to Bali, Victoria feels more connected to the Balinese people and her friends are mostly locals. “I haven’t met a single expat here who is following the same path as me,” she says. "So I spend my time with locals, not foreigners. Because spiritually I have more in common with them." Victoria is impressed by how family-oriented the local culture is. “It would be like in my country a century ago, where the grandparents, the parents and the children and the grandchildren all live in the same house,” she adds. "Generations lived together. That's not how we live in America. Once you're 17 or 18, you go to college and you never want to go home."

Additionally, she has found that life in Bali, a Hindu-majoritarian region in Muslim-majority Indonesia, is heavily influenced by ceremony, which often takes precedence over work or activities. “There are ceremonies for everything from the baby being born to the naming, the cremation and the anniversary celebration,” she says. "The ceremony takes precedence, which would be unthinkable in my country. Except for major holidays such as Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving."

A new perspective on life

Last year, Victoria was invited to a Balinese cremation ceremony, known as Ngabe, and was the only non-local among the guests. “Therefore, I felt like an honored guest taking part in the first day of traditional body washing and the second day of actual cremation with elaborate rituals, drumming, music, meals and processions.” Bali has a much slower pace than what she is used to, which has both advantages and disadvantages. "Sometimes I'm in line at the grocery store and it takes about 15 minutes and three people to do something that would take five minutes in the United States," she says. “But that’s just how it is.”

The lower cost of living in Bali allows Victoria to fully live out the saying “your money goes further,” allowing her to afford things she would previously have considered luxuries. “Ordering from caterers and food delivery services is so cheap, it's almost embarrassing,” she says, adding that she rarely cooks for herself and her housing costs are about a quarter lower than in the United States. "So I don't do laundry for the same reason. It's just a quick walk to the neighbor's house to get it there."

Health care and the outlook for the future

Victoria mainly travels on a motor scooter, which she learned to drive at the age of 65. Although she has had a few "small falls" on the Balinese roads, she prefers two-wheeled transport because of Bali's regular traffic congestion. “I’m careful,” she says. "And I'm old. I know my reflexes are slower than children's. So I drive slowly on the left. People pass me all the time, but I don't care." Despite suffering from a chronic condition that causes pain and fatigue, Victoria describes herself as "relatively healthy" and emphasizes that she walks as much as possible and regularly attends yoga classes. She has had positive experiences with the local healthcare system, which includes both public and private healthcare providers. “I’m lucky to be on the government health insurance program, which is very affordable,” she says, adding that she also has private insurance that covers her for “something serious.”

Victoria points out that standards of care are not the same as “in the West or in other countries”. “My feeling is, if you want to live here, you have to accept it…” she says. "If you want Western medicine, stay in a Western country. But overall I was satisfied." She notes that "retirement homes or assisted living" are "non-existent" in Bali, as families typically care for their elderly loved ones in their later years, and jokes that she has no choice but to return to the US if she lives "too long."

A life in Bali

However, after three years in the Indonesian paradise, Victoria cannot imagine returning to the life she had before. “I jokingly say, the only way I’m going to get back to the United States is if I get demented,” she says. “Everyone I know in the United States who has a conscience and a soul wants to leave now.” Victoria plans to convert her retirement visa into a KITAP visa, or residence permit, valid for five years, within the next two years.

However, she admits that she misses simple things about life in the US, like being able to do all her shopping in one place. “I know it sounds a little silly,” she says. "But the difference is the shopping options - we're a little spoiled (in the U.S.). There's a big drugstore on every corner. You can walk in and buy everything in one place. Here you have to go to ten different stores and small markets. You don't have the same availability." Victoria also misses regularly attending operas and theaters, but emphasizes that there is “nothing to be sad about,” having been an “active participant” in these activities for 40 years.

Flexibility and change

Despite living happily in Bali, Victoria admits she hasn't ruled out moving "elsewhere" and describes herself as a "wanderer". “I learned to never say ‘never’ and to always remain flexible,” she says. Her main focus now is to “live more consciously” and “perform service” during what she describes as the “final phase” of her life. “A person’s life is enriched by diversity and change,” adds Victoria. “And I feel incredibly blessed to end my life in such a beautiful, peaceful place.”