Korean adopted in the United States and Europe find their families

Korean adopted in the United States and Europe find their families

Marianne Ok Nielsen never wanted children or their own family. She often told friends that she did not feel worth it for such a life.

a traumatic heir

Most of her 52-year life believed that she was left by her parents as a baby; In 1973 it was found on the street by the police in Daeejeon, South Korea, about 150 kilometers south of Seoul. "I was disposed of like garbage. Nobody wanted me ... that was me," said Nielsen, who grew up in Denmark, the home country of her adoptive parents. "If your mother doesn't even want you, who would want you then? Can anyone love you at all?"

her Danish mother, who died last year, once said to Nielsen that her birth mother probably gave her "out of love" because she couldn't take care of her. This narrative should be a consolation for a child, but it covered a lucrative business that was based on the "mass exporting" of babies - some with false names and dates of birth - to foreign parents in at least 11 countries, such as the South Korea's reconciliation commission reported this year. This was the first official recognition of the extent of this injustice.

The dark history of adoption

The Commission found that over 141,000 Korean children were sent abroad between the 1950s and 1990s, mainly to the United States and Europe. In a society that stigmatized unmarried mothers, some women were put under pressure to give up their newborns shortly after birth. Others mourned for their stolen children.

The 73-year-old Han Tae-Soon still remembers the laughter of her 4-year-old daughter, who played with friends in 1975 in front of the house in Cheongju, South Korea. "I was on my way to the market and left Kyung-Ha with a few of her friends," said Han. "When I came back, my daughter was gone." Han, then 22 years old, was supposed to see Kyung-Ha again after decades later. Also Nielsen, who was looking for her own family in a situation similar to Han, finally hit the mother, who thought she had disposed of it like garbage.

The challenges of reunification

After a life in separation, the cruelty of the South Korean international adoptions is now only really visible. Reunified children and mothers often have difficulty communicating through different languages and cultures. Hans daughter now lives his own life in America, while Nielsen's mother has lost all memory of her existence through time and age.

a felt offside

grew up in the small Danish city, said Nielsen, that she longed to be "Danish than the Danes". "I didn't want to look at my reflection because I tried so desperately to be white - so desperate to convince everyone else that I know," she said. If her parents didn't want her, she wanted nothing to do with you - or with Korea.

only when she was an adult and a four -year -old boy - the son of a man with whom she went out - asked where her birth mother was, she began to question her origin. When she explained that she couldn't find her because there were no records, the boy said: "If someone had done something like this, I would cry all the time!" At that moment, Nielsen realized that she had suppressed her feelings all her life. "Maybe a little baby is constantly crying in me," she said.

The search for the family

In 2016 she had a DNA test at 325Kamra , a non-profit organization based in the USA, which helps to find Korean adopted again. Years passed without results until everything changed in May last year.

She received a message: "A possible family proof was found." Her older brother had registered his DNA with the Korean police, hoping to find his missing sister. Nielsen had finally found her family. "For 51 years I believed that I was released on the street that I was an orphan. I never dreamed of having a family and that she was looking for me," she said

a alleged kidnapping

When Hans daughter Kyung-Ha disappeared, the family searched the watermelon fields near her house, for fear that she could have strayed and drowned in a sewage tank. Han visited police stations every day and asked for help to find her missing child. But when she asked for information, the authorities advised her to visit clairvoyants.

In 1981 she opened a hairdressing salon in Anyang, southwest of the capital, and opened an old photo of Kyung-Ha in the mirror so that customers could see it.